As we go through life, sometimes there is a nagging feeling of uncertainty and fear deep inside us. Negative thoughts surface and our confidence takes a beating. We do not seem to have any control over these feelings. Some days we wake up feeling on top of the world and ready to take on anything. Then there are days when we wake up feeling scared and just do not dare to do anything. It is like nothing will work. Why is it that on some days we feel like we can take on anything and on other days we just get paralyzed with this feeling of insecurity?

No matter what we do in our daily lives, a feeling of confidence makes it much easier for us to get on with whatever we do. We should well know this as we have experienced moments when we are able to take on any challenge. If we are capable of this, then why is it that we face moments during which we just freeze? How do we handle and overcome these negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts strike everyone, breaking down confidence and self esteem. Be consoled by the fact that this does not happen only to a selected few. This happens even to the most confident of people. Don’t bother about getting rid of them. As unwelcome as they are, they will keep dropping by. They hold no power. The only power they have is the power we give them.

Unfortunately, a lot of people choose to let these fears take over not knowing exactly how to handle them. What you will find though is that if you get busy with something else, you just forget that there was a problem. If, however, you choose to allow yourself to be paralysed, then you will be stuck until the feeling for some reason goes away. Check again and you might find that something else would have happened that pushed aside the fears for the moment. Therein lies the secret.

What is important is to understand how these thoughts are triggered and how to respond to them. Here again it is not the triggers that need to be removed or fixed. Rather, it is the internal talk resulting from the triggers that happens inside that causes turmoil within us. If not acted upon, internal talk can seriously impact the way we feel and the level of confidence we feel. This, then, impacts how we handle our daily responsibilities. How then do we handle this internal talk?

The key to this is in responding to the triggers rather than reacting to them. It is your ability to control your inner voice and how it responds to the triggers that will make or break your confidence. The secret in handling this inner voice is again to respond appropriately and not react to them. Identify how the inner voice responds to different triggers. For each of these triggers, identify positive responses to override the negative thoughts that automatically pop up.

As you go through this analysis, writing down your thoughts creates a greater impact. If you try to think through this without writing, there is a tendency for all these thoughts to generate confusion in your mind and the problem starts to loom bigger in your mind. The act of writing somehow seems to clear the mind. The next time when you hit one of these nagging fears, just pick up your list and you will know what you need to do to silence it. Keep responding with positive thoughts and actions.

We can liken this to pouring clean water into a glass of murky water. As you keep pouring, the water in the glass gradually gets cleaner as the murky water is replaced by the clean water. It is important to note that effort is required to pour the clean water into the glass.

As you can see, you can improve your confidence if you take charge. Identify the triggers and prepare positive responses to override any feeling of fear or insecurity that may surface. Decide today to take control and start the journey to improving your confidence by beating those negative thoughts.

Regina Maniam
http://www.articlesbase.com/coaching-articles/secret-to-improving-confidence-by-beating-negative-thoughts-77176.html

All of us have a genie inside of us. Our personal genies help us achieve our wishes, and acts as our confidence builder and motivator. It is my belief that in order to make wishes come true, certain attitudes and beliefs must be in place. You must have the confidence and self-belief that you can make your wishes come true. One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. By looking at the list it can make you say “Wow, I really am good!” This will naturally lift your self-belief and confidence.

The next thing to look at is motivation. How do you define motivation? All of us may define it differently. According to thefreedictionary.com, motivate means “to provide with an incentive, move to action, impel.” Simply put, motivation is just something that drives you to action. What is stopping you from being motivated and taking action? Is there something that you wish to change in your life? It requires some confidence to do that.

Here is the formula that tells you how much the change means to you!

A change can be something that is either necessary or just a luxury. Making a decision on whether or not the change is required is pretty difficult. This formula will help you understand the forces at play in making a decision.

This is a simple equation that you can apply whenever you are faced with the responsibility of making a decision as to whether something should be done or not.

This is how it goes…

D x V x P > C

­DISSATISFACTION WITH STATUS QUO

First of all, you must be really discontent with the way things are at present.

VISION

You should have a clear vision of the situation that you look forward to attaining through the change. You should also be clear as to why you want it.

PRACTICAL STEPS

You should be aware of the steps involved to implement the change. An action plan detailing the things you need to do has to be drawn up.

D x V x P is the formula of your desire for change.

COST OF CHANGING

What will you have to let go in order to make way for the change? How much will the change cost you? Will it affect your beliefs and ideologies? The underlying rule is that you will proceed with the change only if your desire to change is greater than the costs of the change.

Christine Belknap
http://www.articlesbase.com/careers-articles/what-is-your-inner-genie-telling-you-127664.html

im 14 now & mine usually sucks. i actually have confidence deep down inside, but it’s hard to find.

Mine was zero. I was not coordinated or fashion minded and I was in the band. I grew out it and am successful and have a wife and children now. You will get better. You are probably no worse off than any other 14 year old. Find what you enjoy and do it without worrying about others think.