How can I build up my self confidence around guys?
I am naturally quite a shy person… but I am also fully capable of being outgoing!
It’s weird, because I’m at ease with girls, but every time I talk to a guy, I just freeze up! :s
I would really like to know how I can make myself feel more relaxed and less self-conscious around guys.
Can anyone help me with this?
Thanks in advance.
Often when people get nervous around others, it is because they begin to imagine what others might be thinking about them. Nervous people are projecting their own doubts and insecurities onto others. The greatest thing you can begin doing for yourself right now is to build your self-esteem. When you become rock-solid comfortable with who you are, then you stop the self-comparisons and imagined opinions others have of you. This can take some time, but it is by far one of the most important things you’ll EVER do for yourself. Period. Every day, write down in your journal the things you did well or accomplished that day. Every day, 2 to 4 minutes a day, look in the mirror and say, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself!" over and over and over. It’s not being egotistical, but instead, self-affirming. And it works. Realize that everyone is beautiful and talented and skilled in their own way, and take delight in your uniqueness. Don’t let others put you down. Fight back and know that you are a great person. Building self-esteem is critical to becoming less self-conscious.
Outside of that, practice talking to guys. Practice making friends with them first. Take the pressure off of you when you meet guys by just being friendly with them. Let down your guard and drop your expectations. Be yourself! You’ll find that, deep down, guys are more like girls than you think. They want to be liked and appreciated, even though their bravado might say otherwise. Practice, practice, practice!
#1 by Dylan on October 28th, 2009
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the only thing i can think is hang around them more
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#2 by Heather on October 28th, 2009
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Guys like girls who are themselves. I know it’s hard to be yourself when around them because you always feel self conscience, but put that aside and forget about it. Guys generally accept girls appearance. Don’t be worried. Be yourself
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#3 by davester on October 28th, 2009
Quote
Often when people get nervous around others, it is because they begin to imagine what others might be thinking about them. Nervous people are projecting their own doubts and insecurities onto others. The greatest thing you can begin doing for yourself right now is to build your self-esteem. When you become rock-solid comfortable with who you are, then you stop the self-comparisons and imagined opinions others have of you. This can take some time, but it is by far one of the most important things you’ll EVER do for yourself. Period. Every day, write down in your journal the things you did well or accomplished that day. Every day, 2 to 4 minutes a day, look in the mirror and say, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself!" over and over and over. It’s not being egotistical, but instead, self-affirming. And it works. Realize that everyone is beautiful and talented and skilled in their own way, and take delight in your uniqueness. Don’t let others put you down. Fight back and know that you are a great person. Building self-esteem is critical to becoming less self-conscious.
Outside of that, practice talking to guys. Practice making friends with them first. Take the pressure off of you when you meet guys by just being friendly with them. Let down your guard and drop your expectations. Be yourself! You’ll find that, deep down, guys are more like girls than you think. They want to be liked and appreciated, even though their bravado might say otherwise. Practice, practice, practice!
References :