The word for confidence in Gaelic is muinÃn (pronounced muneen) and it is also the word for trust. The English dictionary definition of confidence is “firm trust,” “a feeling of reliance or certainty.” So, self-confidence is really about trusting yourself. The question then is how can you learn to trust yourself. The other important thing to note about self-confidence is that it can often be at a low ebb when we are in the midst of making important changes. At this point, our old certainties are beginning to fade away and our new life has not yet fully kicked in. What is given in this article are 10 ways to get it back when it looks like it has gone away.
1. Feedback from friends and family: Ask five people that you know and trust to give you a list of three things they really like about you. Either ask them to write them down, or write them down yourself in a special notebook. And then read and enjoy them!
2. Top 50 achievements: Write out a list of 50 things you are proud of achieving. It doesn’t matter how big or how small. If you can’t think of anything, begin with learning to walk, learning to talk and learning to write! Scientists are still baffled as to how small humans can learn these complex skills in relatively short periods of time! And no, NOT everybody can walk, talk and write!
3. Act “as if”: Ask yourself what would you do, what would you say, how you would ask if you were confidentâ??then, choose a situation and act confidently in that. Yes, I know you are not confident yet, but if you act “as if,” you will find that after a while you begin to feel confident.
4. Keep your promises: How do you know if someone is trustworthy? You know because trustworthy people do what they say and say what they do. And that includes promises to yourself. For example, are you the type of person who says “I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” knowing full well that it will take you an hour. What message is that sending to you and to others? Begin by keeping promises that you make. This is an ESSENTIAL part of building confidence in yourself. After all, if you can’t trust yourselfâ?¦
5. Take a chanceâ?¦be yourself: One thing I regularly hear from clients who have confidence issues is how they won’t do or say something because of the fear of being “stupid”â?¦only invariably to hear someone else come out with the same “stupid” idea and being respected for it. This week, give your honest opinion. Be respectful of others, but state your opinion calmly and clearly.
6. Do something you enjoy: Few things can give the rush of confidence that mastery can. By mastery, I mean doing something comfortably and competently. Think of the confidence you got when you learned to drive, when you got to grips with a computer program. Do something that you are good at–you must have something that you are good at, no matter how small it seems.
7. Get confidence buddies: Ask 2-3 people to be there when you need reassurance, when your confidence is shaky. Ask them to remind you that you have gotten out of this before. Ask them to remind you of all the good qualities that you have.
8. Help someone else: No matter how badly off you think you areâ?¦there is always someone who has worse problems than you. And, seeing this and getting things into perspective is a great way of building confidence. Look around you and find someone or an organization to volunteer with. If you can’t find one, give a gift to your favorite charity.
9. Gratitude: Look at what you do have. Know that even if some aspects of your life are not working out the way you wanted them…there are bound to be aspects that are working well..be thankful for those.
10. Be kind to yourself: After all, that is what you would do for a friend who is going through a confidence crisis.
Take Action!
Even if your confidence level is good, choose one of the steps outlined above and implement it this week. You could get a couple of confidence buddies, help someone else or really go mad and be yourself!
Anne Walsh
http://www.articlesbase.com/motivational-articles/10-ways-to-get-back-into-the-confidence-club-110731.html
#1 by bettey boopeydoop on May 28th, 2009
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.. i have no confidence please help.?
im a 17 year old girl,
i left school in year 9 because i was diagnosed with leukaemia. im better now, but find i have no confidence. im ok talking to people i know very well but other friends i always find awkward silences. i havent the confidence to walk into a pub or club or have my hair, make up or clothes nice because i fear people will stare at me and think im a tart. i cant go and dance anywhere because im embarased.
i cant tell anyone either because im so embarassed. does anyone have any ways to overcome this?
#2 by I don't know on May 28th, 2009
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Talk to somebody. Ask a family doctor for a good counselor. Get involved in a class or group. Take baby steps, you can get it back.
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#3 by D on May 28th, 2009
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… absolutely right, take baby steps, one day at a time. Write down some things that you would like to be able to accomplish, research ways to get better at them, practice them on your own, stay focused on accomplishing these goals (one at a time, I'd advise) & before you know it, they will come to you naturally. POSITIVE THINKING over/about your failings & shortcomings will be absolutely key in this. You are not perfect, & no one else is either. Accepting this & being able to laugh about it will help you to see things in a different light You have to be able to look yourself in the mirror & be happy with what you see. Focus on YOUR opinion, other people are always going to have something to say. good or bad, BUT the kicker with that is they are noticing YOU… YOU can choose to notice them or not. Also, don't feel embarassed about this sort of thing, you're already taking the first steps toward improvment RIGHT NOW by acknowledging your problem, & talking about it. Other than that, I know personally that meditation, a healthy lifestyle & martial arts can build OUTSTANDING levels of confidence… being at peace with yourself will bring an aura of peace in your surroundings.
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… I don't know why… but skydiving helps too.