We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you’ve been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You’ll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of ‘flow’. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you’ll feel competent and capable. It’s a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don’t have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you’ve always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn’t have to be something big – it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You’ll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It’s been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You’ll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you’ve interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you’ve never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver’s test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.
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Good Luck! Hope things work out!
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Confidence has a direct relationship with self esteem, if you increase your self esteem, then your confidence level also increases…

Self esteem can only be gained, if you go out there talk to them and prove to yourself that you are good with people whom you don’t know.. This will really boost your self esteem and hence your confidence,..

so go out there and speak out, .. good luck..
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In recent years, a method called cognitive therapy has been gaining popularity. It deals with negative thinking in terms of both "surgery" and "hygiene." A lot of the time, negative thoughts occur to us when we’re not really conscious of it. You can be watching TV or something, and some self-hating thought will creep up on you. You’re only half conscious that this happens. You’re watching TV but you’re also in the past somewhere, blaming yourself for something, or in the future, in some mishap that hasn’t happened yet. When you’re aware of the thought, you can correct it.

Albert Ellis, one of psychologists who gave us the basic ideas of cognitive therapy, wrote a book that is recommended by mental health professionals for social anxiety, A Guide to Rational Living. Like the Ellis book, Dying of Embarrassment by Barbara Markway has been shown to be helpful for people with social anxiety.
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First off when your around people know that these are just ordinary people just like you and me. Every human has good and bad qualities, there is no existing human that is perfect. We are all ordinary and equal. Our skin holds our flesh and bones together, we have a heart, lung, organ, liver, nose, ears, mouth. What makes us different from each other really?

Next the root of being shy or nervous is "fear". A strategy to fight fear is;
Try to think of every negative our positive outcome to happen in a situation where you feel that you might be fearful of, so when you do imagine these thoughts, just "let it happen" instead of trying to "prevent it". When we try to prevent we create a barrier of fear which makes our body to be tensed and rigid. Lets think about this first though, has fear ever benefited you in your whole life? Or has it instead made your situation worse and caused you to be tensed and rigid? In reality fear is what holds us back in doing things that we want to do.
You can possibly die next week, next month, maybe in the next 2 years, so shouldn’t you be trying to "enjoy" every moment you can? Instead of living in "fear"?

When you want to go and do something just go and do it.
"You won’t know until you try"
For example you wanted to ask someone out or introduce yourself, well you won’t know the outcome if you just do it because lets be real with this, it’s not dangerous to go and ask someone out.

"Don’t doubt, attempt, make mistakes, learn, move forward."
Do not be afraid to make mistakes because humans make mistakes all the time including you and me. What’s important is that we try to "recognize" the mistake, "learn" from it, and "try" to "avoid" the mistake in the future.

**Okay this is for thinking "negative" which is the worst thing you can possibly do. Look I want you to realize that thinking negative has not ever helped you or anybody in your whole life. In reality thinking negative does not help at all. In the other hand thinking positive will help you to look good in situations, feel good, have a good positive attitude, where people want to be around you for.

Look I want you to remember this quote;

"There are not negative things, just negative thinkers and There are not positive things, just positive thinkers."
(it’s negative if it is a bad act such as stealing, killing, bad use of words, you get the idea lol.)

I’ll explain what the quote means; It means pretend I thought that a certain music band is good making music, which is a positive thought and then on the other hand there’s another person who thinks negatively of them and who thinks that they aren’t good. What I’m trying to say in reality there is no positive or negative things its all what ourselves judge things as. You can look at everything positive, and just set your mind to positive. Don’t let other peoples negative opinions and thoughts hold you back from looking at the positive things because people who are positive are people who will want to be your friend because look in reality who the heck wants to be friends with someone who is always negative? To be honest no I wouldn’t and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. While on the other hand having a buddy who stays positive and helps out is a friend that everyone wants to have.
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Good luck!
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